When i think too much…

"An ideal mind is a devil’s home." a very familiar quote isn’t it? Well yes, it is. Even though exams are just around the corner, my mind is quite ideal at the moment. 

Just like half and hour ago, i finished talking to my boyfriend, and started thinking about our conversation. It made this hyper little girl sink and hunch into a chair and wonder about the future. What will happen? Will he lose interest in me? It seems like it. The way he has started talking to me. He talks in just one syllable. “Okay.” “Yes.” “Fine.” are words that i hear from him. It creeps me out. I mean i understand, i am like the commentator who speaks tirelessly and he is like the old lady whose mouth starts hurting after saying just two words but things were not like this earlier. He used to laugh, make fun of me and all that. Now it just seems like he is doing a favor by talking to me. 

He does sometimes show his interest in the cutest of all possible ways. He looks into my eyes and just doesn’t stop staring. It feels as if he finds his purpose for living in my eyes and  that is one of the most beautiful  feelings i have ever experienced.

When i think from his perspective, i feel the exam pressure he might be going through. I know how important his grades are to him and specially these ones because they will make up our college applications. I know that this stress is making him the silent old tree that he is not. But this silence is creeping me out. I need to be strong and i need to tell the devil inside my ideal mind to stop filling my mind with useless filth, but what if the devil is my friend and i just trying to summon me?


Now my mind will become a tennis ball and swing from one court to the other, One that says that “its the devil, he is trying to corrupt your love story” and the other that says “its your friend, its trying to summon you.” 

God. Save. Me.